Two Guys Walk Into A Bar

And they’re each trying to meet women.  So the first guy walks up to a cute blonde who’s sitting there, sipping a Cosmo, minding her own business.  And he starts yelling at her – literally screaming, loud enough for everyone in the place to hear:

“Hey!  I’m a lawyer!  I make 200 Grand a year!  I drive a Porsche!  I have a summer cottage on the Cape!  This watch?  I got it when I made partner!  You should go home with ME because NOBODY in this place is better than ME!”

And, predictably, the cute blonde is unimpressed, annoyed, very turned-off, and completely ignoring him.

So the second guy sees what’s goin’ on, and after a couple minutes, he goes up to the cute blonde at the bar and asks her all about herself.  He asks her what she does for a living, where she’s from, what she likes to do for fun, what kind of movies she likes…

And she’s totally into this second guy, because he’s genuine, he’s sincere, and he’s really interested in HER, and not trying to tell everyone in the bar all about himself.  She ends up getting together with the second guy, and to this day, they’re still together, because the second guy understands that — no matter whether you’re trying to meet someone in a singles bar, or, say, maybe, you’re a business owner trying to obtain new customers with an advertising message — when you’re trying to persuade someone, you have to talk about THEM, not about YOU.

Does your advertising message talk about you?  Or does it talk about the customer with whom you’d like to begin a long-term relationship?

Embedr for Custom Video Playlists

My YouTube channel is where I post ALL my videos:  commercial production, contest entries, stuff I do just for fun… And for quite some time, I’d been looking for an easy way to build a playlist featuring just some portfolio pieces, and post it “Widget-style” on my website, so that potential clients can view the spot for Rocky Knoll Golf Course, without having to suffer through “Disguising the Groceries.”

I discovered a great tool a few weeks ago, which I saw being used on the website of a colleague of mine in Atlanta, Rick Griffin of Le Voyage Productions.  Behold, Embedr!

Until recently, due to my somewhat average tech savvy, I’d only been able to embed YouTube videos one at a time, and stack them one-by-one on my home page.  It took up a ton of page space, and it didn’t look very good.

But I found Embedr to be pretty easy to use.  It’s free to sign up for an account, similar to YouTube.  It’s clean looking, and it stacks up my videos in the familiar “Cover Flow” layout of iTunes.  Building a playlist is easy — just enter the URL’s of the videos you want to include, click “Save Playlist,” and you’re done.  Then, you just copy and paste the HTML code for the Embedr widget, and voila, it shows up on your website.

Bottom line, great tool.Build your own custom video playlist at embedr.com

Cable TV and the Economic Stimulus

Every so often on cable TV, I see promotions offering incentives to new cable subscribers: “Sign up now, and get the first 3 months FREE!” or some similar reward to prospective customers.

I’ve been a loyal cable subscriber for the past 8 years.  I’ve paid my bill every month, and use my cable company for not only TV, but also internet and telephone service.  I think that’s worthy of some sort of reward or sign of appreciation, don’t you?  Certainly more worthy than someone who’s not even a customer yet.

So, one time, after seeing one of these offers on TV, I called the cable guys and asked ‘em, essentially, “What about me, your long-time, loyal customer?  Aren’t I deserving of a similar spiff?”  The good news:  They were kind enough to extend the same offer to me.  The bad news:  I had to ask.

Similarly, when I found out about the recent housing stimulus President Obama proposed in Mesa, Arizona last week, I was prompted to write another “What about me” letter — this time to Maine Senator Susan Collins:

Dear Senator Collins:

As I watch President Obama speak in Mesa, Arizona today regarding the economic stimulus plan and the effort to slow the mortgage foreclosure rate in the U.S., what I’m seeing raises a few concerns: President Obama discussed relief for those home buyers who were permitted, and in some cases, encouraged to “overborrow,” and are now “upside down” in their mortgages, as well as extending incentives to lenders like Fannie Mae & Freddie Mac to help lenders refinance and lower their monthly payments on said loans.

My question to you regarding this matter: Could you please provide a list of government-subsidized incentives, rewards, and/or programs which are available to Americans like myself, a small-business owner who have spent my entire adult life living and borrowing within my means, working to maintain impeccable credit, and always striving to make payments on time, provide for myself and my family, and generally “playing by the rules?”

I’m very interested in learning more about how President Obama’s economic stimulus plan will address the concerns of citizens like myself who don’t need or want a government “bailout,” and who feel that WE are the ones who should be rewarded for our fiscally responsible behavior. Instead, as I see it, we seem to be the ones who will end up paying the most for these mistakes, and the extremely expensive measures which President Obama is taking to remedy them.

Respectfully,

Brett Slater

It’s only been a week, but as yet, I have not received a response.  I know Senator Collins’ office is good about getting back to those who write, but I’m not expecting the same satisfaction I got from the cable company.

New business is important, obviously.  But in that quest for new customers, don’t take for granted those long-term clients who’ve stuck with you, paid their bills on time,  and continued to do business with you “the right way,” during good times and/or bad.  And (Mr. President) don’t ask your good customers to make up for the shortfalls of your bad ones.

At any rate, to MY customers, thank you.  I sincerely appreciate your continued business.  I’ll knock myself out to make sure you’re ALWAYS taken care of.  And I’ll never ask you to pay extra to cover for my or anyone else’s mistakes.  I value your business far too much.

(Not Just) Another Anti-Virus Post

Well, there… now that I’m breathing again…

I spent all morning disinfecting my computer of a pretty bad trojan/virus/spyware. In spite of my up-to-date security software, those nasty lil’ buggers can still get in. This particular one even kept me from accessing the internet until I removed the “local network blah-blah” that it self-installed. At best, these infections can slow your system down. At worst, they can steal your personal and financial info, send you scads of unwanted e-mail, crash your system, erase your hard drive, give you cooties, and take away your birthday.

Having weathered my share of scares, It’s been my experience that no one system keeps everything out. I currently use CA Security, which is the service provided to Roadrunner customers. By and large, it does a pretty thorough job. However, I still got bit. To locate the problem, I had to download and run SUPERAntispyware — a free download that caught a lot of the spyware that CA had missed. And now, like the short lady in Poltergeist said, “This house is clean.”

What frightens me most is when you consider how many attempts are made to infect your system day-to-day. For heavy web users, I have to imagine that the digital Jehovah’s Witnesses must knock on your computer’s door dozens of times a day. Click an ad in the sidebar? Mis-type a URL and it takes you to a suspicious page with pop-ups? A window comes up that looks like Internet Explorer telling you you’re at risk? Nope. That’s more of ‘em trying to sneak under the velvet rope past the bouncer.

And to my Facebook friends: I love you all, I swear. But I don’t want a Little Green Plant, or a Bumper Sticker, or a Drink, or to take a Movie Quiz or be added to your Birthday Calendar. Every one of those things adds an application to your Facebook profile which asks if it can access “your data.” Which data? How much? Probably more than you’d like. So I’m gonna choose “Ignore” every time you send one. Nothing personal, I promise.

So, the takeaway, here (and I know I’m gonna sound like a parent talking to a
teenager for the hundredth eye-rolling time about being careful with the car), is to simply be careful. Question everything. Treat every browsing session like a walk through a dark alley at night. Take a second look at those links you click, those files you open, and those attachments you download. Keep your security updated, and most importantly, educate yourself on how to scour and de-bug your system if it does get infected.

Or just switch to a Mac. I haven’t made the full transition yet, but every morning I have like this one makes the case stronger.

Damon’s Pizza – Recession Proof!

Received an e mail from a friend and had to share …

“I came across a newspaper ad that caught my eye. I saw the Damon’s logo at the bottom of the rather large ad and it said “There is no recession at Damon’s”. My first thought was wow, this is interesting and what a great idea. I read on.

Long story short, I finally looked up to the top in the fine newspaper print and verified the date of the ad.

 

It was from July 29th, 1961!!

 

Think about it. This ad was advertising their 10th anniversary in 1961. The economy was in recession yet this pizza place was refusing to participate!!

 

I did a little research online and learned that there have been 7 recessions since 1960 – not including the current one. Apparently Damon’s has chosen not to participate in any of the ensuing recessions and if my math is correct they are now 57 years old. Not a bad run.

 My assumption is that Damon’s is not planning on participating in this recession either. 

The meatball sandwich was very good.”

This “recession ” is NOT a big deal.  It is a time for us to reinvent ourselves – to become stronger – better. 

 I personally do not choose to participate in this recession.  Join me in boycotting the recession.  Go out and buy something – GO SHOP!

Selling Small Pleasures

* By Brett Slater and Kelly Slater

I guess it’s official now: We’re in a recession. Businesses are cutting back, and consumers are tightening their belts — maybe not going out to eat as often, or not treating ourselves to extravagances we once did. So does that mean no one’s buying ANYthing anymore? Obviously, not. We’re just being a little more conscious of what we spend our money on, and how we choose to enjoy our expenditures.

As consumers, we still want to spend money and have “stuff,” but lately, the media and “society” make us feel like we shouldn’t (or can’t), when in most cases, we can, but on a different scale. Perhaps we may have to skip the big Florida vacation in lieu of a vacation closer to home. Or maybe we go out to eat every two weeks instead of every Friday. But we still desire those simple pleasures.

Take these guys, for example. The Cigar & Smoke Shoppe is doing great business in spite of the flagging economy — or maybe because of it. For a couple bucks, you can sit in their store, in a big comfy recliner, in front of a fireplace with a great cigar, put your feet up, and enjoy a few minutes of relaxation and escape. A simple pleasure, indeed. And that’s how they market themselves in their advertising. “Come relax, put your feet up, and enjoy a great cigar.”

During economic slowdowns, many businesses opt to cut their advertising budget. Imagine! “Hey, things are slow out there. Let’s stop telling people to come see us!” In fact, you should be changing your message to suit the times, not eliminating the message altogether. If you’re a local hotelier, consider an ad that caters to the consumers in your own town, pitching a weekend or overnight getaway, rather than gearing your marketing to attract vacationers from out of town, or out of state. Spa owner? How ’bout offering 15-minute chair massages to people on their lunch breaks? Jewelry store? Maybe, rather than, “Buy a pair of earrings, and get a free cleaning,” you say, “Bring in your earrings for a free cleaning, and get a discount on your next purchase.” You may not make a sale at that moment, but you DO get ‘em in the store, and you DO provide a small pleasure which they’ll talk about later.

When economic times are tough, consumers are looking for more and more of those small pleasures. Expenditures that aren’t considered “extravagant” won’t feel extravagant when purchased. So, if you tell your customers, “Yeah, it really is okay to spend your money on this [bar of soap, bottle of wine, dinner, etc.], because it’s a small indulgence, and it makes you feel great,” you’re giving them permission to continue to enjoy themselves.

And in return for giving them that small pleasure, you’ll have earned their future business, regardless of the economic climate.

Another Venue For CGA: Local TV

If you ask me, the only definition of “Broadcast Quality” video production is that it be, well, broadcast. These days, no longer does one need thousands of dollars worth of camera equipment, lighting, actors, post-production equipment, monitors, playback and editing gear, etc. As equipment and software become more advanced, amateur and semi-pro producers can do a LOT more, with a LOT less.

Case in point, this commercial I produced for Dorr’s Equipment, a tractor dealer in my home town of Bangor, Maine:

Relatively speaking, I don’t have a lot of formal training in video production. In fact, all I know about it was self-taught. My Panasonic camera and Vegas software came from Best Buy, and I bought Anime Studio for fifty bucks online. Gone are the days when advertisers are beholden to the TV stations to produce their commercials for them. Nowadays, people like you and me are more than capable of creating compelling advertising at far less cost than many TV stations might charge for their production.

However, there are some things to bear in mind — constants that hold true in the creation of ANY effective advertising:

• The message is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT factor in any ad. Is the message compelling enough to entice people to act? And are you presenting that message in the clearest way possible? Which leads me to the script:
• In a TV spot, you have 30 seconds to convey that one message. Dorr’s asked me to promote their Zero Percent Financing on Kubota Tractors through the end of 2008, so that’s the singular message in this ad. No mention of chainsaws, used equipment, parts, service, etc. No clutter. One message.
• There should be a certain level of quality to the production. It doesn’t have to be slick and polished — these days, I’d even go so far as to say that’s a negative. The spot can, and in some cases should look a little rough. It adds a certain personal feel, a certain uniqueness to the spot. However, it should be technically airable. If not, the TV stations probably won’t run it. It should be 30-seconds on the nose. The V/O should be clear and well-recorded, and the video should be as tightly-edited as you know how to do. Most of this is attainable with a few extra minutes of scrutiny during editing.
• Schedule is tantamount to message. An ad that cost a million dollars to produce, but only runs once, won’t work as well as one that cost a thousand dollars, but runs more frequently. “Repetition builds reputation.” The more a message is seen or heard, the more it’s remembered. If you ask me, less spent on production, and more spent on schedule is a better investment of ad dollars.

Bottom line: Production cost doesn’t necessarily equal effective advertising. I’ve seen multi-million dollar ads aired during the Super Bowl which are not as effective or memorable as spots produced locally for just a few hundred bucks. And now, with the creativity, ability, and talent I’ve seen among my peers online, amateur creators like my brethren on sites like YouTube, GeniusRocket and PopTent have the opportunity to help local businesses create unique TV advertising that also works.

How to Turn DIY Into $USD

Now, everybody can do something… You ever seen ‘Wild Kingdom?’ I mean, that guy’s been doing that show for thrity years.” – John Bender, The Breakfast Club

What can you do? If you can make a video that teaches other people how to do it, you might be able to make a few bucks.

MindBites.com contacted me not long after I posted my “Hypertufa How-To” video for Honda’s DIY contest on YouTube, and invited me to check out their site, whose philosophy is that “we all have something to share.” MindBites allows users to upload their own how-to videos, which are then available for users to download for just a couple bucks. And you split the money with MindBites, who pays you a dollar (via PayPal) every time your video is purchased for download.

What’s great about the “Web 2.0″ concept is that it’s based around the notion that the internet isn’t just about getting information. It’s about sharing information. More and more people are turning to online media and resources to learn – whether it’s learning to knit, or learning what kind of camera to buy, or learning about people and faraway lands. My dad and I often joke when we’re stumped for an answer or a solution to a problem, “Ask the internet. It knows everything.” But the reason it does is because more people like you and me are starting to share their knowledge with the world.

So, what kind of video should you submit? They’ll take anything, really, as long as it’s educational, and not offensive. I’ve seen videos that range anywhere from Arts & Crafts to Tech stuff to Music Lessons to Travel and Languages… My 18-year-old stereo speakers needed repair, so that’s what I did:

Once your video is produced and uploaded, MindBites enables you to share it via e-mail, link, or by embedding on a web page. And you retain all ownership and rights to your material, to distribute and promote as you please.

So, will people pay 2 bucks to learn how to do stuff? We’ll have to wait and see about that. I will say that there are things you can do when considering what to submit:

• Make sure your how-to video is thorough, accurate, and explains things clearly.
• Make sure it’s a subject you’re familiar with. Know what you’re talkin’ about.
• Make sure the value of the knowledge obtained outweighs the viewers cost to obtain it. For a $2 download, and about $25 in materials, my video shows you how to save hundreds of dollars by repairing your old speakers rather than buying new ones.
• As always, keep it short. Remember, time, too, is a cost for viewers.

And for Pete’s sake, have fun, huh? People like to see other people having fun. It’s infectious, and it makes learning easier. I’ll end with an appropriate quote from Fat Albert:

“This is Bill Cosby comin’ at ya with music and fun, and if you’re not careful, you may learn something before it’s done.”

Hey, hey, hey!

Going Back to (Electoral) College

Boy, I’ve been dealing with a lot of school lately. This fall semester, I started teaching as an adjunct professor at the New England School of Communication.

And on top of that, I also recently spent a few weeks enrolled at Electoral College:

In all honesty, before producing this video for ElectoralCollegeUSA, like the young man in the video, I didn’t quite know how the electoral process worked — but I knew it had something to do with Electoral Votes.

But the cool thing is, now I know. And more importantly, now I sound educated when I try to explain it to my kids. Also appearing in this video is my stepson Casey. Props to him for some pretty good acting, and for indulging me in yet another eyes-rolling “Oh, God, how is he gonna embarrass me NOW” moment.

SethComedy Debut on YouTube

I’ve been a big fan of Family Guy since its debut on Fox back in the late 90’s. Today, Seth MacFarlane debuted his YouTube channel, SethComedy. They have five videos posted so far, and the animation looks typically like that of Family Guy and American Dad, another MacFarlane co-creation. The subject matter is similar as well, and I certainly hope that the Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy is as popular, prolific, creative, and consistent online as his TV shows are.

Creators like this inspire me to step up my game.

By the way, Seth, if per chance you should happen upon this post, hire me. I do killer voices. Betcha no one EVER says that to you, huh?